And. I have a pathological need to move around. And I'm not sure whether I'm moving on or simply moving away. What I'm trying to do is find my place in this world and it's doesn't matter which way you take this because you got it right any way.
I need to see new things. To meet new people and expose myself to new things until I go to that place where I feel like there, this feels like home.
And no, it doesn't get any easier leaving. Packing up and saying bye to your friends is as scary as the first time, every single time you do it.
But I get this feeling, almost like a timed alarm, and it tells me it's time to leave again, to move on and do new stuff. Safety never got anyone anywhere. And the world is such a beautiful place that being static is like swearing in a church; it's done, but it's just so wrong.
And it's true that wherever you are, it's never where you want to be. But I do believe that eventually, after seeing relatively enough, you'll find somewhere you won't want to run away from.
And, true, it may sound a little lonely and it may feel like it sometimes. But going back to whatever place and having friends waiting for you wherever warms your heart that little bit more.
And I can't wait to move again. Because going back home only serves to remind you why you left it in the first place.
And,I need to go now.
I've been static for long enough.
4 comments:
When I read this it reminded me of myself. I have that same inclination. Already in the last year I've moved five times. Mostly I guess because I haven't found the right place. I have always wanted to move to London but have avoided it for so long out of fear, money woes, and listening to advice that didn't feel right. Everywhere I've lived in the last few years never felt like home. I guess it is just because I wasn't going where I really wanted to.
Do you think you'll ever find yourself in that place where you'll just feel like just staying there? Sometimes I thikn I was born to be a nomad. And as exciting as that sounds... it's also incredibly lonely.
You know I'm not sure if I'll ever find that one place. I'm not sure if I believe that one place can hold someone like you and I. I think it is possible that we could choose some place we like to have a permanent home but that need to move would always be there. I don't know exactly what it is that calls me to travel. The sensation of picking up your entire life and shifting it completely for something new is intoxicating.
Intoxicating and liberating. The idea of putting yourself out there is as exciting as it is scary. And right now the idea of settling in one place feels like giving up.
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