Rumblings of a semi comatose

Where I work, these girls, they smoke long thin white cigarettes they forget in the ashtrays repeatedly, so they burn out and end up one long greay burnt ash. Like incense. Only it smells like shit. Only it kills you.
Where I work is a strip joint and right here, right now I'm the waitress/bartender. I've just finished my shift and I'm dead beat but this is too funny not to write about. This guy, let's call him John because that is his name. For real. He asked me when he could see me. I smiled. He asked me when he could see me. I smiled. Third fucking time, I'm not that much of a bitch, to say, listen pal, I don't really think this is going to work out. And truth be told, I wasn't that all against it. I'm kind of missing the idea of having male arms hug me tight tight tight.
Fast forward a couple of hours when john is drunk off his ass off Jack. He takes hold of my sticky sugary hands and asks me to stay with him. And I laugh, I genuinely say and What John, would I get paid for exactly?
This guy whose name I didn't even know last week was asking me to stay at his place. Cue belly laughter* Oh god, and I'm tired and maybe a bit high on passive nicotine intake, but God, it's funny as hell. He looks at me all serious and says, IJustWantToWakeUpInYourArms. He says, this is all we need to know about each other. I fucking kid you not. Wake up in each other's arms? Is this what kids are calling it these days? Do I give off some vibe I put out easily?
Wait. Wait. Don't answer that.
Fast forward to a couple more hours, more sulking ensues and hey, John looks at me and says, 'Are you a lesbian?' for real. I mean, I have to be, since I'm not putting out, aren't I?
And then he says 'It's your loss!'.
Instant gratification denial, anyone?
This guy who hadn't even asked me for a date wanted me to sleep in his arms. In his clothes. Hahaha!!! God, serisouly... I must be one of the most unattractive sleeping persons ever.
What happened to men who knew how to flirt, huh? Who snuk up on you and subtly brushed their hands up your thigh... who rested their hands softly on your lower back. Whose eyes met yours when you felt them staring. Who, when you couldn't take it anymore, shoved you high up some godawful wall, and pound you senseless...?
Hand holding? Wake up in each other's arms...? Jay-zus...