If I could sigh right now, I would. But I don't even bother doing that. I feel so unbelievably flat. There's a lot going on in my head that's saddening me. I feel upset at a bunch of stuff and I don't know what upsets me the worst. Sometimes I feel things I can't name. My feet drag me wherever and whenever I try to analyze myself, my mind goes blank. Worst of all, I feel uninspired.
I can't write well, I don't want to play music, I don't want to paint or whatever it is that I do usually. I just read. My days are a succession of waking up in the morning and waiting to go to sleep at night. And I've no idea what happens to the time in between.
This feels a little bit like hibernating.
And I know, this is probably one of my mood swings. I go through periods where I let the sadness take over. And the worst thing is, I know what's gnawing at me and I can't doing anything about it.
How I feel like is something like this: " Speed has never killed anyone. It's suddenly becoming stationary that's the problem. "
And I don't expect anyone else to understand me because I don't even understand myself. But I need reasons and inspiration.
Routine is not comfort. It's murder.
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4 comments:
I don't pretend to understand you. I think fully understanding anybody is an impossibility. What I can do is send you my love and maybe a bit of sympathy, as I've been there myself and I know how it grinds you down to nothing. I hope you break the cycle, and I hope you come out a stronger person.
Thank you. Sometimes all you need is a comforting word to feel a little less...alone?
How are you doing now?
Once again, in a rut. The girl I fell in love with turned out to be seriously disturbed. She went on an unprovoked vendetta against me, of epic proportions. It's so bad that I don't eve feel depressed. I just want to burn her.
Wow. That's strange. It kind of screams ' unresolved anger issues' at me. She's obviously not worth feeling depressed over. Indifference is the best payback, especially with people who're fiery ( for no apparent reason ). Burning bodies takes too long...
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