At a loss.

When you spend more than thirty six hours awake straight, you oddly realize that reality is only a perception. And you can't really explain it properly in words, but if you're dead tired and seeing things up, your reality for the moment is a guy with blood drops splattered on his face and kids running around roundabouts at three in the morning, because, yes, that's how vivid my hallucinations become. And maybe every body's known this way longer than I have, but it's absolutely fascinating how something is always on your mind and it takes you ages to put it in words, even to yourself.
Reality changes according to the moods and perspectives. So I ask myself, in this state of near-paranoia, if something is constantly changing, how do you know which, if any, part of it is real? And if something that constantly changes is less real, than everything else isn't real either because everything is constantly changing. And by process of elimination, if nothing is real, then everything is.
And Lord knows, but right now, in my head, this is making a lot of sense.
But what I'm thinking is how much more alone we are than we think. Because each of us lives in their own version of reality. And when reality is something that happens in your mind, you can only go through it alone.
And really, crazy people and geniuses are no different than the rest of us but in the fact that what they perceive to be real and normal is either a work of art or totally bogus to the majority. And maybe we're the crazy people and the 'crazies' are the sane ones. Because just because the majority see things in a certain similar way, it doesn't mean they're right.
And maybe, just about now, I should go to sleep.
Because I think I've stopped making sense.